Question
I have never had pets, but recently a friend of mine was in serious trouble and asked me to care for her cat.
I did my best to accommodate it as well as I could. The house is vast, has a beautiful garden around it, and as suggested I bought a big cat tree, toys, treats. The cat has plenty of food, water is refreshed regularly, and I change both litter boxes every few days. The cat gets plenty of play time both with me and my flatmates, and is free to cuddle with any of us at any time. It is even allowed by one of my flatmates to sleep in bed with him at night, although it has a dedicated shelter and all doors are always open, so it is free to circulate around the house as much as it wants.
We essentially haven't constrained its behaviour in any way. It is free to do whatever it pleases, except scratching the sofa. However, since it was here, we had no way whatsoever to prevent him from doing that.
I will be honest: reading on the internet how to handle a cat is frustrating. It seems like no form of negative reinforcement will ever work. Every blog post, article or forum question I found seems to imply that good behaviour should be encouraged instead.
I bought scratch posts. I wrapped planks of wood in cloth and left them around the house. I put treats in the right scratching places. I went as far as scratching the posts myself in front of it, proposing treats as a reward for it scratching too. No dice. Delicately placing its paws on the scratching post only made it angry.
I wrapped the couch in expendable blankets and covers. It still finds a way to remove them, ignoring the scratching posts right next to the couch, and scratch under the blankets instead.
I am frustrated, and I am exhausted. I am not significantly attached to that couch, or any other thing in the house, but I cannot stand the principle that my life should now revolve around a cat, without me being able to put any condition whatsoever on its behaviour. I want to be a good friend, but I didn't choose to be a cat owner, so I am lacking that sort of Stockholm Syndrome some of my cat-owning friends display towards their pets.
What do I do to save my couch, calm my nerves, and make that damn cat happy?
Answer
I totally understand your frustration. Cats are very independent, complex creatures. I imagine your cat is very happy, you’re providing it everything I would suggest and then some. Seriously, give yourself some kudos for that. I have a few thoughts that may help:
Firstly, cat ownership does require a certain level of “letting go”. When I got my cat, I was fully prepared for dealing with the difficulties of owning a cat, but it sounds like you entered cat ownership a little more reluctantly. I think it’s very cool that you’re helping your friend, but that also adds another level of pressure. All things considered, you’re doing good things for the cat, but should now turn your attention to yourself.
Your life doesn’t need to revolve around the cat, bad behavior or not. Realign your expectations of pet ownership and forgive yourself for getting frustrated. Cat ownership does have a level of responsibility and maintenance, but they can also be great friends. You have flatmates that I’m sure you consider friends, but do they sometimes do something that just drives you nuts? The cat is the same way. It’s not Stockholm Syndrome. It’s forming a friendship, or bond. It will come with time if you let it.
Back to the couch! I do have a few more ideas you can try. The cat is just practicing its natural instincts. Like a squirrel has to chew wood to keep its teeth shaved down, cats need scratch to maintain their claws. They are not scratching out of spite or because they’re upset. They may, however, prefer whatever material your couch is made of most. My cat hates cardboard scratchers and will only use those rope wrapped poles. See if you can find a scratch post with a similar texture as the couch, place it next to the couch, and encourage the cat to use that by adding catnip or treats to the post.
Alternatively, there are cat-repellent sprays and scents you can apply to the couch. I have a friend who’s cat always jumped on their screens, tearing them. They started spraying the screens with THIS spray, and after a month or so, the cat learned not to jump on the screens. Add this to your couch and see if it helps.
You are correct that cats respond better to positive feedback. I encourage you to keep that mindset, but you can still tell a cat no. For my cat, if he’s doing something he shouldn’t, I make a ssst noise to get his attention off his task and to me instead, and then say “no” and move him. You can do the same. Make a noise to get the cat to look at you, and say “no” while you remove them from the couch. Then place the cat on/near a scratch board or whatever to complete their scratching. No need to force them. Make it a regular habit of removing the cat when you catch it scratching, and have your flatmates do the same. This could take a lot of time before the cat learns, but they’re pretty smart critters.
I know this is a lot! But I hope something in here helps. Just remember - the cat can be your friend, and learning takes time and patience for both sides.
Answered By - Gwendolyn